Developing Emotional Intelligence
in the Workplace
Can You Do Your Job if People Don’t Like You?
-by Wendy Alfus Rothman of The Employment Roundtable

L et’s suppose that the morning of a big presentation you have an argument with your spouse. Not a big argument—maybe just one of those unnerving spats about who forgot to pick up the dry cleaning—so your morning doesn’t get off on the right foot. Then the train is running late, upping your stress level a bit more. When you arrive at work, there’s a problem with the elevators, causing more delay. Arriving at the conference room for your presentation, you find that the sound system doesn’t work and the caterer hasn’t shown up with refreshments. Your junior associate—who was supposed to call the caterer—bears the brunt of your anger that has been building since you left the house.

 When we’re talking about Emotional Intelligence we’re talking about how to handle this kind of situation smartly so that no one is damaged, and working relationships don’t suffer.

Working with People Means Working with Emotions
 Obviously, when human beings are brought together to complete tasks, emotions will play a role—theories to the contrary notwithstanding. “Don’t bring your personal problems to work” is one variation of the argument that emotions are inappropriate in the workplace. Business decisions, so the argument goes, should be based on information, logic and calm cool reason, with emotions kept to a minimum.

 But it is unrealistic to suppose that emotions can be checked at the door when you arrive at work. Some people may assume, for a variety of reasons, that emotional neutrality is an ideal, and try to keep feelings out of sight. Such people work and relate in a certain way: usually they come across as rigid, detached or fearful, and fail to participate fully in the life of the workplace. This is not necessarily bad in some situations, but it is usually not good for an organization for such people to move into management roles. The same would be true for people who emote excessively, who tell you how they feel about everything. Simply being around them can be exhausting.

 Developing emotional intelligence in the workplace means acknowledging that emotions are always present, and doing something intelligent with them. People vary enormously in the skill with which they use their own emotions and react to the emotions of others—and that can make the difference between a good manager and a bad one. It’s not overly egalitarian to suggest that most professionals, managers and executives are fairly smart people (of course there can be glaring exceptions), but there can be a huge difference in how well they handle people. That is, the department manager may be a genius in technical, product or service knowledge—and get failing marks in terms of people skills.

The Damage of
Emotional Incompetence
 Thus developing emotional intelligence could go a long way in helping companies be more productive and more profitable. The brilliant department head who is an unchallenged expert on a product or service will get superior results if he/she also knows how to stay motivated under stress, motivate others, navigate complex interpersonal relationships, inspire others and build teams. And, obviously, if you want to sell to clients, you can’t achieve great results if you’re not attuned to clients emotionally. 

 Any executive coach who has been summoned by a company to help rescue a top executive from self-destruction knows the war stories: people rarely derail because of the lack of technical skills, but because of classic emotional failings. They mess up in their relationships with colleagues and subordinates. They are overly authoritarian, cannot handle conflict and generate fear instead of respect and devotion.

 In 2001, 257 public companies (with $258 billion in assets) declared bankruptcy. 2002 is on pace, with 67 companies going bust during the first quarter. What are the reasons? Managerial error is never cited as a cause for disaster by the managers going down with the ship (or those who have jumped ship with big packages). The bad economy is commonly blamed—or market turbulence, a weak Yen, competitive subterfuge, the floods in the Midwest or the perfect storm!

People derail because of classic emotional failings, not the
lack of technical skills.

 In the May 27, 2002 Fortune magazine, in an article “Fearing the Boss More than the Competition,” (in a series on Why Companies Fail) we find the following:  

 Sometimes CEOs don’t get the information they need to make informed decisions. The main reason, says Daniel Goleman, a psychologist and author of the book Primal Leadership, is that subordinates are afraid to tell them the truth. Even when a boss doesn’t intend to quash dissent, subtle signals—a sour expression, a curt response—can broadcast the message that bad news isn’t welcome. That’s why, according to a study by Goleman and two associates, higher-ranking executives are less likely to have an accurate assessment of their own performance.

 Clearly, corporations suffer if people at management levels fail to master the emotional components of leadership.

Emotional Intelligence:
The Four Branches
 But exactly what is emotional intelligence? It can be defined as an actual intelligence: the mental ability to reason about emotions and the capacity to think better by using emotions. It can also be defined as a set of abilities that help us respond to the world around us appropriately. To understand the complexities of emotional intelligence—and the difficulty of teaching and mastering it—it is helpful to view it as made up of four “ability branches,” which are as follows:

First Branch: Recognizing Emotion
 This includes (1) being aware of what you are feeling, i.e., in the example mentioned at the beginning of the article, knowing that you are on the verge of losing it because of events that began at home, and (2) figuring out how other people are feeling. The latter can be a huge challenge, in an office with many people—some of whom are the over-emoters who may be acting out on a variety of issues totally unrelated to work, and others who wouldn’t scream if you held their hand to the fire. What they are feeling does have an impact on their work, so it is important to develop skills at reading colleagues, subordinates and superiors. It is also crucial to develop ability to read emotional clues from clients. If people aren’t buying into the pitch, if an audience has no idea what you’re talking about—and this may come from facial expressions and other non-verbal signals—recognition of the disconnect is crucial for changing course. People who fail to recognize emotion commonly are surprised by events (“I had no idea…”) and shun accountability. They tend to blame other people for being “misleading.”

Second Branch: Facilitating Emotions
 The sales manager who berates his staff for dismal performance two months in a row, ranting and raving about how everyone is falling down on the job, and then expects a fruitful brainstorming session to turn things around—cannot expect dramatic results. Great brainstorming doesn’t happen unless people are feeling open, upbeat, and expansive. Negative or neutral emotions, on the other hand, can be appropriate for analytical work, attention to detail, helping to spot errors. So the ability to create appropriate emotions is also a component of emotional intelligence.    Developing such skills assumes an ability to be empathetic: to move people in the right direction emotionally, you must know where they are. In other words, I have to be able to feel what you’re feeling in order to get you to feel what I want you to feel!

Great brainstorming doesn’t
happen unless people feel open, upbeat and expansive.

Third Branch:
Understanding Emotions
 Recognizing emotions, discussed above as the First Branch, is not the same as understanding emotions, which requires cognitive skills, command of a language to make sense of what is happening, and sensitivity. Recognition without understanding can lead a boss to say: “I see that you’re upset and you feel bad, but frankly I really don’t care. You’re here to work, and it’s not my job to make you happy, so get over it.” But emotional intelligence is being aware that it is the boss’s job to make people happy. Fundamental insensitivity, the “get over it” approach, actually stops people from doing what you want them to do.

 Understanding emotions requires insight into “emotional chains” or the “continuum of emotions” that build as events unfold. An employee is berated in front of others—without a chance to defend herself. On top of that an associate gets credit for her project, and a plum assignment goes to someone else. Frustration builds into anger, followed by a sense of the injustice of it all—then rage sets in. To the extent that we understand these “chains,” we can predict behavior and de-escalate conflict. The boss may see that the employee is alienated—the cues may be obvious—but fails to tune in to the reality of the emotional chain reaction that’s under way, and is surprised by the employee’s resignation: “How did that happen?”

Emotional intelligence is being aware that it is the boss’s job to make people happy.

Fourth Branch: Managing Emotions
 Managing emotions goes beyond facilitating emotions described above as the second branch. To the degree that I can pick and choose my response to external situations, I am managing my emotions. Being able to engage or disengage; to escalate or de-escalate; to move people, to inspire them, to create passion in people—deliberately and with purpose—is managing emotions. If you are able, after the argument with your spouse and dealing with late trains, faulty elevators and malfunctioning sound-systems—if you are able to avoid inflicting your rage inappropriately on others, you are managing your emotions. Charismatic leaders have the most advanced skills in this fourth branch.

 The sales manager who is hugely depressed about poor figures for the last two months, who has summoned the staff for a tongue-lashing, but who instead, “reaches inside” and says things to motivate, generate a productive mood, inspire and create resiliency—has the ability to manage emotions.

Teaching Emotional Intelligence
 Many people rise to the top of their professions because they have a passion and an innate talent—they would seem to be ‘born’ to do what they do. You can’t make a great baseball player or violist out of someone who doesn’t have the passion. Can you teach emotional intelligence to people who just don’t care that much about how they relate to others? They love being accountants, engineers, lawyers or architects—and have had management roles thrust upon them.

 The good news is that emotional intelligence is an ability—one that is measurable, diagnosable, improvable. The bad news is that this ability cannot be imparted through a two-hour or even a two-day seminar. It must be learned on the job—there must be real-life ongoing coaching and feedback. It is increasingly common for corporations to hire executive coaches to work with managers on improving emotional intelligence—especially if the manager is jeopardizing his career (and the department!). Experts in the emotional intelligence field actually differ on the issue of teachability. Some are skeptical, but acknowledge that people with weak skills (in any or all of the four branches described above) can show improvement or at least develop coping mechanisms. For example, a manager who may be impaired in any of the four branches may want to go into meetings with a co-worker who has been trained as observer or monitor. At the first hour break, the manager can get honest feedback: “How’m I doing?” “Have I set the right tone for the meeting?” “Are my responses and questions helpful?”

   There is, in fact, vigorous discussion of emotional intelligence under way, two of the most prominent voices being that of Daniel Goleman, referenced above in the Fortune quote (see his book, Working with Emotional Intelligence), and Peter Salovey (who edited Emotional Development and Emotional Intelligence: Educational Implications). For more information you may also send inquiries to wenrothgroup@netscape.net.

An IQ Test—For Your Emotional Intelligence
 The following five multiple-choice questions provide insight into the complexities of applying emotional intelligence in real-life situations. At the end you will find the values assigned to each answer.

1.  You are in a meeting when a colleague takes credit for work that you have done. What do you do?
a. Immediately and publicly confront the colleague over    the ownership of your work.
b. After the meeting, take the colleague aside and tell     her that you would appreciate in the future that she     credits you when speaking about your work.
c. Nothing, it’s not a good idea to embarrass colleagues    in public.
d. After the colleague speaks, publicly thank her for refer-    encing your work and give the group more specific     details about what you were trying to accomplish.

2.  You are a manager in an organization that is trying to encourage respect for racial and ethnic diversity. You overhear someone telling a racist joke. What do you do?
a. Ignore it. The best way to deal with these things is not to react.
b. Call the person into your office and explain that their behavior is    inappropriate and is grounds for disciplinary action if repeated.
c. Speak up on the spot, saying that such jokes are inappropriate    and will not be tolerated in your organization.
d. Suggest to the person telling the joke that he go through a
 diversity training program.
 
3.  A discussion between you and your partner has escalated into a shouting match. You are both upset and in the heat of the argument, start making personal attacks which neither of you really mean. What are the best things to do?
a. Agree to take a 20-minute break before continuing the discussion.
b. Go silent, regardless of what your partner has to say.
c. Say you are sorry, and ask your partner to apologize too.
d. Stop for a moment, collect your thoughts, then restate your side   of the case as precisely as possible.
 
4.  You have been given the task of managing a team that has been unable to come up with a creative solution to a work problem. What is the first thing that you do?
a. Draw up an agenda, call a meeting and allot a specific period of   time to discuss each item.
b. Organize on off-site meeting aimed specifically at encouraging    the team to get to know each other better.
c. Begin by asking each person individually for ideas about how to   solve the problem.
d. Start out with a brainstorming session encouraging each person    to say whatever comes to mind, no matter how wild.
 
5.  You have recently been assigned a young manager in your team and have noticed that he appears to be unable to make the simplest of decisions without seeking advice from you. What do you do?
a. Accept that he “does not have what it takes to succeed here”     and find others in your team to take on tasks.
b. Get an HR manager to talk to him about where he sees his     future in the organization.
c. Purposely give him lots of complex decisions to make so that he   will become more confident in the role.
d. Engineer an ongoing series of challenging but manageable experi-   ences for him, and make yourself available to act as his mentor.

Scoring:
Question 1: a: zero points; b. 5 points; c. zero points; d. 10 points
Question 2: a. zero points; b. 5 points; c. 10 points; d. 5 points
Question 3: a. 10 points; b. zero points; c. zero points; d. zero points
Question 4: a. zero points; b. 10 points; c. zero points; d. 5 points
Question 5: a zero points; b. 5 points; c. zero points; d. 10 points l