Love Explored
Lingering Valentine’s Day Questions
— the rest of the story
 
by Richard Bayer, Ph.D.

Love means “to intend the good of the other.”

In an article in the February Five O'Clock News (the Valentine's Day newsletter) I suggested this definition of love: it pertains to our social nature and means to intend the good of the other.  That article also contrasted genuine love to false contemporary (mis) conceptions.    

Relationships based on utility (the other person is somehow useful to us) and relationships based on pleasure (the other person is simply pleasurable to be with for whatever reason) are not “loving” in the deepest sense. These are inherently fragile relationships since the time can come when the other person is no longer useful to us, or a source of pleasure!  

After that article appeared, several people asked for more explication about the idea of love. What does it mean in practice to intend the good of another person in practice? How does this apply in our everyday work and personal lives? 

First we must have a “working understanding” of the human being. I will outline my understanding, but feel free to modify and improve it. No final definition is possible, but I can name six things which characterize a human being: a person is material, spiritual, social, fragile, creative and free, and equal with others in basic dignity.

I see six things which characterize a person: material, spiritual, social, fragile, creative and free, and equality in basic dignity.

 I believe that a type of love can be practiced in what we ordinarily might consider surprising ways (we are moving past the romantic love of St. Valentine's day here!). Love toward our fellow man generally can be practiced everywhere, including the workplace. Intending the good of the other means to assist and support others as beings who are material, spiritual, social, fragile, creative and free, and equal in basic dignity. The table below is a starter that gives an idea of what that might mean.

So love of neighbor has an important place in the workplace.

Then There’s Romantic Love
What does it mean to intend the good of another person in romantic love on a daily basis?

This also means to assist and support another as a being who is material, spiritual, social, fragile, creative and free, and equal in basic dignity. The table on the next page is a starter that gives an idea of how to do that.

Of course, the list is illustrative and not exhaustive of what intending the good of the other in romantic love means. You might have fun adding ideas with your spouse. There may also be a way to bring some of the ideas from the first table to work.

How To Love (i.e. intend the good of) Your Neighbor At The Workplace
Characteristics of Human Beings	Definition	Application
Material	A person requires food, clothing shelter, etc. to survive.	Payment of just wages and benefits. Safe and pleasant working conditions.
Spiritual	A person must have ‘space’ to practice spirituality.	Respect and encouragement for various belief systems. Time or days off for religious holidays are very important.
Social	A person only develops to his/her fullest with others.	Employees should have opportunities to socialize, participate, work in cooperative settings, and join appropriate associations.
Fragile	We are all prone to error; have our weaknesses; and failings.	Employees need oversight, second chances, extra training, or re-assignment.
Free & Creative	We all want to move forward professionally, to exercise our creative abilities.	Assignments should assign creative responsibility to the lowest level possible.
Equal	Person have a basic equality regardless of race, color creed, etc.	Thee should not be discrimination on a non performance basis.

Dr. Bayer is an economist and ethicist, and the Chief Operating Officer of The Five O’Clock Club.