How to Leave
by Kate Wendleton and Dale Dauten
"Kate & Dale Talk Jobs" is a nationally syndicated newspaper column appearing in The Minneapolis Star-Tribune, The New York Post, The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, The Houston Chronicle and approximately 100 other newspapers.
Dear Kate & Dale: After a year of an unreasonable
workload and insensitive management, I have decided to leave my job. Many
a night I have come home in tears and this job is truly not worth it to
me. Out of fairness, I would like to give my supervisor ample notice (one
month), but I haven’t a clue how to explain my leaving to upper
management, nor to future employers. Basically, I don’t know how to
leave. Amanda
KATE:
Aren’t you nice, giving a month’s notice even though you’ve been
there only a year.
DALE:
Is that sarcasm I hear? If so, I think it unwarranted. Just
because Amanda works for
insensitive people doesn’t mean she has to become one herself. The issue is her dignity, not
their disrespect.
KATE:
What you hear is not sarcasm; it’s frustration. So many of our
clients worry about how to leave when they ought to be thinking about
where to go. The only option in resigning is tell the truth or gloss over
it. The “glossing” would sound like this: “I’m looking at other promising
opportunities, but I want to be fair to you by letting you
know.”
DALE:
I can’t imagine that offering additional explanations—that is, a
critique of management—would be effective. After all, she’s leaving
because her supervisors don’t care what employees think. Which is why,
Amanda, your current employer will likely decline your offer to stay. Even
if you know yourself to be indispensable, I expect your managers would
agree with Charles de Gaulle haughty conclusion, “The graveyard is full of
indispensable men.”
KATE:
And rethink your month’s notice. If they have you stay, it may be
the month from hell. Two weeks is plenty. But let’s back up: Before you
announce you’re leaving, make certain you’ve laid all the groundwork for
getting your next job. You should get your resume and cover letter in
order, and have a plan of what companies you will contact about what jobs.
Once you’ve left, explaining your leaving to future employers should not
be a problem, simply say, “I could not job hunt and be fair to my
employer, so I decided the ethical thing to do was resign and then devote
myself to finding the right position. However, I gave my employer notice
and offered to train my replacement.” They can’t help but respect you for
being honorable.
DALE:
Some cynics may not believe your explanation, but you’ve worked for
cynics for the past year and it’s time to find a better
environment.
****
KATE:
About the same time we heard from Amanda, we heard from a woman in
a similar situation who tried to work things out with her employer and
wrote to tell us this cautionary tale:
Dear Kate & Dale: I was employed by a large
consulting firm for four years. I found myself working six days a
week, with no time off for
vacations. Over two years and after numerous promises to improve the
working conditions, I was encourage by the firm’s “employee liaison” to
ask for a transfer of assignment within the firm. However, when I
requested the transfer, I was informed that the firm would not honor my
request. I was asked to remain on payroll for six months to train a
replacement, then leave. I ended up staying three months before leaving
for a better job, and was never given anyone to train. Those months were
very difficult, enduring behavior ranging from being totally ignored to
being treated rudely. The
firm eventually replaced me with three employees doing the job I had done
myself. Hailey
DALE:
When leaving a lousy company, remember that giving notice is for
honor’s sake, not your employer’s sake. You'll need to keep that in mind,
because your announcement will only make conditions worse. The only
advantage to those final weeks is that you’ll be doubly glad you’re
leaving.
* * *
Kate Wendleton is the founder of The Five O’Clock Club (www.fiveoclockclub.com and author of several books including Targeting the Job You Want. Dale Dauten is an entrepreneur, speaker and author in Phoenix, Arizona. His latest book, on how great bosses and great employees find each other, is The Gifted Boss (William Morrow). Please write to them in care of King Features Syndicate, 235 East 45th St., New York, NY 10017, or email Kate@FiveOClockClub.com. Copyright, 2000 by King Features Syndicate, Inc.