How to Overcome Suffering
Especially in Your Career
by Richard Bayer, Ph.D.

At The Five O’Clock Club we participate actively in the business aspects of our clients’ lives. This puts us in a great position to make suggestions that can help the employed and unemployed. 

I want to comment on what has been called the “unhappiness factor” noted by our counselors around the country. Many people are unhappy in their professional careers for a variety of reasons. Indeed, they often describe themselves as actually "suffering" in their present positions. The specific complaints can include: 

* I need more money! $250,000 is simply not enough to support my family. 
* I am single, 43, work very long hours, and like having things my way.  I definitely intend to have children, but have yet to start looking for the right man/woman. (A very New York attitude, by the way.)
* Everyone else seems to be moving ahead of me. I live very nicely, but feel left behind and I want more.

While I am a Catholic ethicist and theologian by training, I would suggest that we can benefit in analyzing these situations by casting an eye toward Eastern traditions.  Buddhism is a major world religion that talks as much about "suffering" as any faith tradition. Looking here for insights can be profitable.

I love the story of the Buddha, which means "Enlightened One." He was born Siddhartha Gautama and lived in northern India from c.560 to c.480 BC. Gautama’s family was wealthy, yet he himself was unhappy with the pleasures of the royal life.  So, as a young fellow, he sneaked out of the palace and into the woods to become enlightened about the true meaning of life!  Pleasure did not seem to be the key to a happy life.

After practicing raja yoga under religious masters, he concluded that it is best to avoid extreme asceticism in favor of a moderate approach (a “middle way” between extreme asceticism and extravagance).  Eventually he achieved enlightenment (bodhi) under the bo tree, and he remained there for 49 days since he was so empowered by the experience.  He then returned to ordinary life for the sake of others.    

Throughout his life he was known as a compassionate teacher with a “cool head, and a warm heart.” As “enlightened” the Buddha came to understand four things: 

First, suffering is a part of life. There is the trauma of birth, sickness, old age, fear of death, separation from loved ones, etc. There is passing, constant change, and mortality.

To be sure that your goals (desires) will bring you happiness and not suffering, analyze them for their wisdom and compassion.

Second, the cause of suffering is unreasonable desire or expectations.  Failing to show wisdom, restraint or compassion, people clutch to themselves what is either too much, or can never be permanent. People can put themselves at the center of the world, and become intoxicated with themselves and their desires. They seek permanence and an ease of life that are impossible to have. They seek their own welfare as individuals without compassion for others or regard for the rest of the world.

Third, the good news is this: overcoming desire can break the chain of suffering!
Finally, the way to overcome desire is through a life of wisdom and practical compassion (as taught by the "Eightfold Path").

So the Buddhist perspective would analyze the three complaints of our suffering employees in terms of the wisdom and compassion that they do or do not show:

* If you “need” more than $250,000, are you clutching to yourself what is really unreasonable, unfulfilling, and passing?  (The average per capita income in this country is after all $32,448!). Does your preoccupation indicate a lack of compassion for the 99.99% of the planet’s population that has less? Have you considered the “middle way,” a mean between extremes of poverty and riches? 

* If you are single and insist on having things your way, have you put yourself at the center of the world? Are you too accustomed to seeing yourself falsely, as a separate and isolated individual? Have you abandoned the practice of compassion, making intimate social relations difficult? Does this make the desired goals of a happy marriage and family practical impossibilities?

* If you live very nicely, but feel left behind compared to others, are you a victim of some false view of the world? One false view is that of the isolated individual locked in competition with others (American individualism) as opposed to being part of a larger whole. The perspective of isolation logically cuts off compassion and heightens envy.

 So the root problems as suggested by Buddhism are a lack of wisdom and compassion. These are exemplified in wrong views of the self and the world, individualism, extravagance, clutching at permanence, selfishness, and greed. All of these lead to unreasonable desires in one way or another, and such misguided desires lead to suffering. 

The Five O’Clock Club book, Targeting The Job You Want, recommends that you look into your future to set goals that are right for you. To do this, you are advised to write your own obituary (to see how your life would have gone), invent your ideal job, decide what you would do if you had a million dollars (and try to do it anyway), and write your Forty-Year Vision. The ideas offered here might help you do these exercises since all of us have happiness and the overcoming of suffering as major goals. To sum up, analyze your goals (desires) for their wisdom and compassion to be sure that they will bring you happiness and not suffering. I dare say even this small glimpse at Eastern thinking can challenge us Westerners in varied and positive ways. 

Dr. Bayer is the Chief Operating Officer of The Five O’Clock Club.