No More Sweaty Palms:
BY RICHARD RABKIN, M.D.
You Can Tame Performance Anxiety
You're standing at the podium, about to present the pitch that will determine whether your company gets the client--and may decide whether you keep your job.
Your fingers won't stop drumming and fidgeting, and you feel a sudden urge to go to the bathroom.
Performance anxiety doesn't affect only actors onstage. Symptoms such as dry mouth, trembling knees, upset stomach and swallowing difficulty (globus hystericus) can overcome anyone who feels stressed, nervous, pressured, or unduly excited.
- You have been chosen to represent your company in a televised panel discussion on a controversial topic. Beneath the studio lights, you feel disoriented and confused, and the sharp responses you'd prepared seem to slip away beyond your grasp.
- You're sitting in your boss's office, negotiating for a very large salary increase. Despite hours of preparation, your tongue seems tied in knots and you stumble over simple words. Attempts to correct your mistakes add more confusion, and when asked a question, you draw a blank.
With the right tools, you can control this distressing and sometimes debilitating condition, and transform performance anxiety into performance enhancement.
RECOGNIZING PERFORMANCE ANXIETY
Performance anxiety is the opposite of a flow state.
FLOW STATE
TIME: flies
EGO: merged
FOCUS: narrow, targeted, specific
EMOTION: positive
GOAL: the process
PERFORMANCE ANXIETY
TIME: drags, seems endless
EGO: feel like an outsider
FOCUS: wide, distracted
EMOTION: anxious
GOAL: the end
Social anxiety is being
totally absorbed in what other people think of you
or what you think of other people.
Seek a Flow State
In a state of performance anxiety, time drags; you feel distracted and disconnected from people and events around you; and your goal is directed only toward the end. A flow state is the opposite of a state of performance anxiety: time moves quickly and easily; it's easy and comfortable to fit in with the situation around you; your focus is narrow and specific; your emotions calm; and you stay in the moment where your goal is simply the process itself.
Here are several routes to finding a flow state:
Redirect Your Focus
The prospect of performing causes physiological arousal. Everyone has heard about the fight or flight response--that emergency state where the body's natural mechanisms prepare us to meet danger. Don't try to eliminate the arousal altogether. It can serve the positive purpose of keeping you alert and sharp.
The trick to taming this physiological arousal is to channel your focus in a new direction--away from concern for yourself and into concern for others. Respond to people and circumstances outside yourself by commenting on the room's decor, paying someone a compliment, or asking questions about matters as ordinary as the weather or current events. In this way, you'll give your physiological responses a productive task to perform.
Attribute your success to yourself, not to luck.
Luck comes only to those who are prepared.
Change Your Assumptions
True, you might feel overwhelmed and consumed by anxiety. But you are not transparent, and others may not have a clue to how you're feeling. The one or two people who do notice your nervousness are apt to take only passing notice. And their response is more likely to be sympathetic than hostile.
Try to act as if. Imagine yourself as confident and in control. Picture yourself in the specific situation that is causing your anxiety, an enact it in your mind as if you are handling things in the ideal way. See yourself delivering the speech, making the sales pitch, winning over the board of directors--whatever it is that is making your palms sweat and your knees cave in. Visualize the scenario, and you'll increase the chances of its becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Put It into Words
Some people ascribe to the belief: it's so terrible we can't even talk about it. But you can make tension worse by attempts to appear as if it doesn't exist. Face your anxiety head on, give it a name and talk about it. Putting your vague, unquantified fears into specific, real words, helps to bring them down to size. Another tip: when talking to your friends, family and colleagues about an anxiety-provoking situation, focus on the context rather than on yourself. You might, for example, transform the thought, "I'm not as qualified for this job as other people" to "The competition is stiff everywhere today." Or convert the thought, "I'm mortified at the prospect of blowing the press conference on national TV," to "This may be my first televised press conference, but by this time next year I'll be an old pro."
Play Some Mental Tapes
Keep yourself from feeling overwhelmed by repeating calming phrases in your mind. Effective phrases include: Take one day at a time (or one hour or one minute); easy does it; first things first; not in your time but in God's time; you can't push the river; act as if; what's the worst that can happen. During calm moments alone, increase your repertoire by choosing other phrases you've read or heard which hold special meaning.
Steer Clear of Catastrophy
Some people believe that, if they fail, disaster is sure to befall them. The prospect of failure takes on outsized proportions, and failure becomes synonymous with disaster. The anxiety inherent in avoiding "disasters," then, can have a worse effect than the event that actually does transpire.
Inject a dose of reality by asking yourself, "What's the worst that can happen?" Remind yourself that the worst outcome us often just temporary embarrassment and the need to admit a mistake. Then repeat the aphorism, "Don't sweat the small stuff, and remember, it's all small stuff."
Consider Medical Help
If preperformance jitters are making your life unmanageable, your doctor may be able to offer insights, stress management techniques or even mild tranquilizers or other medication (studies have shown beta blockers to be effective for musicians suffering from performance anxiety).
Risk Using The Recipe
Risk-taking behavior is different for different people Some like to bet on sure things, others prefer long shots. One thing is certain: all change can be anxiety provoking at first. After awhile, however, self-confidence may increase to the point where you may go on "automatic pilot."
Applying the suggestions above requires taking a risk. Consider the metaphor of using a recipe to make a cake. A recipe may have been used successfully by millions of people over many years, and for those who follow it, the cake comes out well. If you have trouble risking acceptance of the above suggestions, ask yourself these questions: do you think the recipe won't work? Do you suffer from imposter syndrome and believe you'll never have the right ingredients and your cake will end up a mud pie? If the recipe does work for you, will you not be able to take as much credit as if you had invented the recipe yourself?
Review Your Progress
After you have reduced your anxiety in a specific situation, review how you accomplished that in order to reinforce what you learned from your progress.
A few final thoughts: Give yourself credit for your efforts. Don't compare yourself to others; your inner reality is unique to you, and the circumstances of your life unlike anyone else's. And remember: attribute your success to yourself, not to luck. "Luck" comes only to those who are prepared.
Richard Rabkin, M.D. is a psychiatrist practicing in Manhattan.